Collection of jokes - 1

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?

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Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.

Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.

Girl: Well that is because we aren't married yet.
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Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

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A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?" "Honey," the woman replied Sweetly,

"I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

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Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

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18 A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..

My Father grows beans," said one student. "My father cooks beans," said another.

Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."

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Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?" Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.

Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"

Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

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Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage"

It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".