The Top Ten Church Bulletin Announcements

The Top Ten Church Bulletin Announcements

10. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
9. The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
8. Thursday night – Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
7. Due to the Pastor’s illness, Wednesday’s healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
6. The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 pm. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
5. Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 pm. Please use the back door.
4. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
3. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 pm on Tuesday. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
2. Today, Christian Youth Fellowship House Sexuality Course, 1 pm-8 pm. Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.

And the Number One Bulletin Announcement…

1. Missionary, Bertha Belch, from Africa speaking at Calvary Memorial Church. Announcement: “Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.”